Dear caregiver, How to Speak With Doctors Who Dismiss Concerns
It is painful when a trusted professional downplays your concerns about your child. Advocacy starts with clear documentation, calm communication, and persistence. This post gives practical, respectful strategies to make your voice heard and to secure the assessments and referrals your child needs.
Prepare before the appointment
Bring a short, one-page timeline that lists when behaviours started and a few concrete examples. Your notes should include:
- Dates and simple descriptions of behaviours.
- Frequency and context.
- Any patterns or triggers you have noticed.
This turns subjective worry into factual, actionable information.
Use clear, direct language
Frame your concerns with specific phrases such as:
- “I am worried about my child’s speech delay, and it is affecting daily routines.”
- “He avoids eye contact most days, and this concerns me.”
- “Could we do a developmental screening today, or can you refer us to a specialist?”
Direct questions prompt direct answers and next steps.
Ask for reasons and written notes if dismissed
If a clinician dismisses your concern, politely request the reasoning. Ask them to put their notes in writing or provide a written explanation. This record can be important if you pursue a second opinion or escalate the request.
Request a second opinion calmly
You have a right to a second opinion. Call other clinics, ask parent groups for recommended providers, and consider reaching out to paediatricians who specialise in development. Being calm and persistent often opens doors.
Use local networks and parent recommendations
Parent groups and local disability organisations often have lists of supportive clinicians. Sharing experiences in trusted groups in Nigeria helps you find providers who take concerns seriously and who understand autism foundations in Nigeria.
Keep careful records and follow up
Keep copies of all clinic notes, emails, and referrals. If a promised referral has not arrived, follow up in writing or by phone. Send a polite message summarising your appointment and the requested next steps. Documentation helps you track progress and keeps providers accountable.
Support for emotional strain
Being dismissed by a professional is stressful. Reach out to a friend, family member, or a parent support group for emotional support. You do not have to do this alone.