Bethel Xafe Autism Foundation

Anger Isn’t Bad: Helping Autistic Kids Express It Safely and Effectively

Teaching replacement behaviors helps your child express anger safely. Whenever you see tension rising, prompt a practiced alternative: “Use your anger card” or “Tap your shoulders.” You might hold their hand and squeeze gently, demonstrating the action. Then praise immediately: “Great job tapping instead of hitting!” Reinforce that message with social stories; short, illustrated narratives showing a character who felt angry, tapped, and then felt better. Read these stories aloud during calm moments so they’re familiar when needed. Role-play together: you pretend to be upset, and they offer the replacement behavior. Consistent practice even in quiet times builds muscle memory so aggression gives way to safe self-expression.

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